Instead of adding to any potential negativity, I’m going to do something I enjoy doing as a doula and help you shift your focus.
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You are going to have hard moments and that’s okay. You may find that at times, you are not your best self. It’s okay. No one expects you to be perfect.
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It's easy to say “I just want to be a good parent, a good partner, and a good friend.” That sounds lovely. It’s a wonderful goal. Really though, you have to break that down, because those are very broad terms!
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What if your holiday involves something more difficult feelings? What if you need to opt out all together? My “aha” moment would send me into a little self-reflection about holiday values.
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This is my baby. My last baby. My for real last baby. She’s the youngest by alot. She’s amazing. She’s inquisitive, funny, and has the sweetest kindest heart. I would tell you that I can’t imagine my life without her in it, but the truth is that I can.
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We often have certain ideas of what parenthood should look like. These are modeled by family, friends, social media and popular culture. This is not dissimilar to what we expect birth to look like and be like.
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I can't adequately express how important it is to educate yourself about your options. When we find out we're pregnant, it can be exciting and sometimes a little scary.
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What if instead of aiming for unattainable goals, we define what’s important and then get to the rest if we can or even let the rest go by the way all together? How would that feel? Can you imagine the impact this can have on your life?
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While I already check in with my clients after birth and do a postpartum visit, I felt like I need to be doing more. This is part of the reason that I started offering fourth trimester planning sessions.
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My breastfeeding journey came to a sad and frustrating end because I didn’t have knowledge or resources. I didn’t have someone telling me that this was just a hurdle, not a dead end.
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It's easy for people to simply view you as a vessel for this new life, to forget that you're not just a belly, and that you might actually value your privacy and personal space.
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As excited as everyone was to meet my babies, the last thing I wanted to do right after I’d given birth to my children was to hand off my baby before we even had time to bond.
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