You’ve confirmed that your pregnant, you’ve wrapped your head around the fact that you’re having a baby (or at least starting to), and you’re starting to think “now what?!”

First of all, congratulations! This can be an exciting time and it can also feel overwhelming. You have a vague idea of what you need to do before the baby gets here, but also no idea where to start. That’s ok! I’m going to offer you some thoughts about what you can do.

Step 1: Take a breath.

Stop everything that you’re doing and take a breath. Acknowledge any feelings you’re having about this pregnancy. Even when planning and trying to get pregnant, feelings can still pop up and catch you off guard. It’s even ok if you’re not excited when you want to be. It takes some folks time to get there.

Let’s go ahead and take another breath and remind yourself that you have time to figure things out. You are not expected to have all the answers right this very second.

Step 2: Decide on a birthing location.

Now that you’ve refocused a bit, start picturing your birth. Think about where you would like to meet your baby/babies. What does the environment look like? I’m happy to report that for those of you lucky folks here in Richmond, Va, there are some fantastic options. You get to choose between birthing at home, at a birth center, or at a local hospital.

The only “right” place to birth is somewhere where your voice is going to be heard and you feel safe and comfortable. Don’t just go to the nearest hospital because it seems logical. Choose your birth location based on care provider preference, supportive policies, and preferred labor / birth options. If you’re on the fence or just generally unsure, make a list and do several tours until you’re feeling good about your decision.

Step 3: Find a great care provider.

This may go without saying (I will anyway), but this will need to be someone who can be at the location you plan to birth. (This is why this is step 3 and not 2)

Don’t just choose the first person on the list of folks your insurance covers or even someone that you’ve always seen for well care. This needs to be someone who you trust and who respects you as the parent of this child /children.

You’ll want someone who believes in informed consent and evidence based practices. Ideally you’ll find someone who will be able to also be present for your birth or at least have someone in their practice who shares your vision for your birth.

Step 4: Educate yourself.

Read books, watch birth videos (all types), go to birth circles and most importantly (if you can) attend independent childbirth class, breastfeeding classes, and postpartum prep sessions.

Hospital based classes may be free but the information you’ll get will not hold a candle to what a good independent CBE instructor will provide you will. I’ve never met someone who walked away from a series of these classes feeling unprepared or like they wasted their time. We have several different options here.

If you plan to breastfeed, a class can make a world of difference. While this is an instinctual act, it does not always come naturally. Taking a class will allow you to be prepared for any challenges as well as learn what’s normal, and how to get the support you’ll need. Bringing your partner/support person also gives them an opportunity to hear how to support you on this journey.

A postpartum prep session will help guide you and your partner/support person through some of the logistical things that you can put into place before the baby/babies arrive. You’ll discuss expectations, ways to ensure the support you need as you transition into your new roles as parents, and more.

Step 4: Hire a doula.

There are birth and postpartum doulas. Some folks even do both.

A birth doula will walk you through the journey from pregnancy to birth (and immediate postpartum). They are a resource for information, they will offer you evidence based info, inform you of your options, teach you comfort techniques, take pictures and more. Most importantly a doula stays by your side through the whole process. Your care providers may come and go, but we (along with any support people) are your constants. We are invested in you and the outcome of your birth. We want to help you meet your goals and feel good about your birth (regardless of what that looks like for you).

Postpartum doulas can be a game changer for folks. This is especially true for people who may not have family in the area (or want family there during this time). Some postpartum doulas do day shifts while others offer overnight shifts. They will help you get some sleep by caring for your baby while you rest, bringing babe to you to nurse, and then encouraging more rest (doesn’t that sound magical?!). They offer evidence based info/ tips on infant feeding, newborn care, bonding with your baby, and more. Basically they nurture you so you can nurture your baby.

Step 5: Prepare for your baby/babies.

Now that you’ve decided on the most import things, it’s time to get all the things your baby will need. Talk to other parents and make a good list before going crazy with the registry scanner. You’d be surprised at how little you actually need!

Visit consignment shops & check Facebook marketplace, or better yet, your local buy nothing group. Think about where your baby will sleep and get that space ready first. Many folks prefer to room in for a time before switching over to their own room. This is something most folks really look forward to, enjoy it.

Step 6: Birth your baby!

Welcome your new love into your home! You’ve done everything you can to prepare for this moment. You’re stocked up on supplies, you know how to get the support you will need, and are ready for this new adventure.

If in doubt, refer back to step one and breathe. You’ve got this!

*If you still need help learning about birthing locations, care providers, classes etc. please reach out to me. I love helping folks find their path. If you’re looking for a doula, ask me about my availability. I’d love to support your journey

I’M PREGNANT. NOW WHAT? DESTRESSING YOUR BIRTH JOURNEY IN 6 SIMPLE STEPS